Birth…a beautiful experience, non? As expectant mothers isn’t that what we’re all taught? Hmmmm, sometimes that’s an ideal that just isn’t meant to be.

A friend recently tweeted me a link to this by Donna, The London Mum. As the blog post states, apparently April has been Cesarean Awareness Month. Despite the campaign seemingly seeking to promote vaginal births amongst pregnant women, it doesn’t appear to highlight that for many of us, the choice between a vaginal and c-section birth is actually a choice we don’t have.

As Donna describes with her own birthing story, a c-section can literally be the difference between life and death for either mother or baby or both. My own birthing story, whilst not quite as scary, is no less effective at highlighting how quickly the choice of having a natural birth can be whipped from our hands.

After a pretty horrendous pregnancy, which can only be likened to a nine month, highly medicated hangover with two stints in hospital due to hyperemesis (HG), I was looking forward to a nice, natural, water birth in my local Birthing Unit, surrounded by calm midwives, an array of aromatherapy candles and Asha strumming away in the background. Bring on the skin-to-skin! Alas, Bebe had other ideas.

At 37+4 weeks my waters broke. During a really, really, REALLY delicious nap I was taking on the sofa on my first day of maternity leave. That nap was something quite special, sob. So off to the Birthing Unit I went, only to be told that I wasn’t in labour and should I not start contractions within the next 24 hours I will be deemed high risk and will have to deliver at hospital. This is something I hadn’t even considered. I had already made that choice, right? I wanted a water birth led by the midwives.

Needless to say, I didn’t labour naturally and had to be induced. Three times. All of which failed. The most I dilated was 3.5cm and after 72 hours of labouring I was finally taken to theatre for a c-section, vomiting all the way. Because my waters had already broken the risk of infection to both me and Bebe increased so he really did need to come out. And yes, I also contracted Group B Strep (GBS) so both myself and Bebe were put straight onto antibiotics. Joy.

By this point though, I welcomed the c-section as the safety of my little man was paramount and I was bloody exhausted, high on all manner of medication. And as he was pulled from my body Husbo overheard a medical profesh comment that he would never have delivered naturally. I don’t know why exactly that was, but perhaps my body just isn’t equipped to give birth in the natural vaginal manner.

Does that sadden me? Yes.

Does it make me feel like any less of a woman? No. And I shouldn’t be made to feel that way. If you’ve had a c-section, either by choice or necessity, then you shouldn’t feel any less of a woman either. We grew our babies, nurturing them from the inside out for nine months, so really…as long as they delivered safely in the end is all that matters.

Is Bebe worth less than a child born vaginally? Is he f*ck! He’s just as precious.

 

Although I hated every second of my pregnancy and still feel slightly
bitter about the birthing experience I had, where the choice of vaginal
verses c-section birth was taken away from me, the bond between my son and I couldn’t be stronger and if I were to fall pregnant again I would strongly consider electing for a c-section after my first birthing experience.

Does God condemn me for that? Highly doubtful. He’s focusing on the bigger stuff. Like genocide.

Many thanks to Jennie of Mummy Vs The World for nominating me and my blog for the Liebster Award. After a little mooching about the internet I understand that the Liebster Award is a tool by which bloggers can nominate fellow bloggers in order to get to know them a little better, so in aid of disclosing a bit more information about myself, here goes…

1. Describe your blog in one word.
Snapshot. Make of that what you will.
 
2. What is your favourite season and why?
Autumn. Beautiful nature, beautiful colours, beautiful smells, sights and sounds…crisp leaves under foot etc, etc, etc. It’s the start of cosier times to come, what more could you want?!

3. What star sign are you and does it fit with your personality?
I’m a Sagittarius – a fire sign, which definitely reflects my sparky temperament. I’m a little hot headed to say the least. Poor Husbo.

4. What is the best piece of advice you’ve been given (in relation to your blog)?
Be natural and don’t force it. Solid advice, hence my ‘lazy’ approach to posting. This could of course be my downfall. Ah well…

5. Where do you get the inspiration for your posts?
Everyday antics no matter how mundane usually provide inspiration for bloggery action. Life with Bebe often sparks hilarity as well as angst so it all fuels the ideas fire.

6. Coffee or tea?
Coffee. Large decaf skinny vanilla latte if you want specifics. Once breast feeding is out of the way though, it’s caffeine all the way! Tea smells like cereal. Blurgh.

7. Favourite film?
There can never be just one – ‘Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang’, ‘Three Men and a Little Lady’, ‘Swordfish’ and ‘The Departed’ to name but a few!

8. Best blog post you’ve read this week.
Cesarean Awareness Month: A Rant by Donna of The London Mum blog. I’m a C-Sectioner by necessity, not desire, so I understand her viewpoint all too well.

9. Ultimate holiday destination?
NYC. Forever and always. Amen.

10. Favourite childhood memory?
My father making up stories about fictional siblings Jeremy and Jemima (er…hang on, aren’t they from Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang..?! Have literally just connected those dots, oh dear) whilst bouncing me and my brother around the house on all manner of furniture.

I nominate the following bods (some new bloggers and some who just intrigue me) for the Liebster Award, time permitting of course *wink*

My Mummy Spam

All the Things I Used to Know

Paperback Thrones

Parker and Me

Mum in the Know

The Unnatural Woman

And your questions are: –
1. What’s your favourite book from your childhood and why?
2. What fictional character depicts your personality the most and why?
3. Why did you decide to start blogging?
4. Favourite boy’s name?
5. Favourite girl’s name?
6. Where were you when you discovered you were pregnant?
7. What would the title to your story be?
8. If you were a cocktail, what would you be and why?
9. Coffee or tea? (It’s an important question so had to be copied)
10. Most important quality in a friendship?

I thought I’d take a break from all Bebe related shenanigans with my #MyCapturedMoment this week, despite how hard it is to escape the fact that I am ALL about Bebe these days (and I wouldn’t want it any other way). This is my third stint of the My Captured Moment linky of Running in Lavender fame.

The series of pics below is a snapshot of pre-Bebe life. The night I went to the circus…

Okay, so essentially it’s just a tubby man hula hooping, but despite how
simple that sounds he was rather ruddy impressive. Especially after a few
glasses of fizz. Me (hence bad photography), not him. Maybe him.

What better treat than to be taken to the circus by your bestest buds for
your thirtieth birthday celebrations?!  

Er, excuse horrid hand/nail condition

Also…very delicious food.

Running in Lavender

Me time…a concept long forgotten. A distant memory of days past, when life didn’t revolve around Bebe feasting on my boobs, Bebe sleeping on my boobs, or Bebe vomming on my boobs. Alas, I sit here typing in the silence of an empty house, peace and serenity washing over me with gentle abandon. Why? Husbo has taken the little man (that’s Bebe and NOT a euphemism for…ahem!) to his weekly swimming lesson, in-laws in tow. Lucky them. Naturally I saw my opportunity for a rare hour of nothingness and grabbed it with both hands. Well, who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth?!

Which leaves me wondering…what on earth am I going to do with myself?! Oh dear. Have I become so consumed with new mamahood that I no longer recall what I used to do to chill out? Yes. That’s exactly what’s become of me. So much so that I’m also currently having a convo with another fellow new mum (huzzah for Whatsapp!) about what exactly I should do with my newfound spare time. As such, this precious time is now quickly ticking away and I am still a-pondering what on earth to do with it.

Ultimate ‘me time’ field of dreams!

Now, I’m a writer. Hence the reason I find myself tapping away happily at my computer instead of doing something far more beneficial. Like ironing. Or eating leftover Easter eggs. Both pastimes would be far more productive, but like many out there scribbling relaxes me and therefore scribble I shall.

At just over five months into the new job of motherhood I am now beginning to realise the importance of ‘me time’. The NCT clan and I have discussed on numerous occasions how good it will feel to be able to watch the latest episode of Made in Chelsea (or other suitably trashy TV show) uninterrupted by crying, be able to paint our nails without having to halt for an emergency nappy change or be able to cook and eat and meal free from feasting babies. And it will. It really, really will.

Sadly I hit the four month fatigue barrier and was sorely tempted to jack the breastfeeding in completely in lieu of a large glass of red just to see me through the rest of it. Instead, Husbo and I have had a long chatter about what we should do to ensure the happiness of our little family unit is uncompromised by a grouchy mama. Or father. My answer? I need more ‘me time’. I need a few minutes a day to be able to use both hands in the kitchen, to have a bath or *gasp* steal a nap. Or more accurately…go swimming (WITHOUT Bebe) and book a reflexology appointment. Both of which I achieved this weekend already. Smug me.

I know it’s not always doable, but I urge all of you out there who are feeling the lack of sleep pinching at your eyelids to try and create a window of opportunity for some ‘me time’, whether it be a lie in, a cuppa…or wine…out in the sunshine (roll on the 3 month heatwave!), or a half an hour with a good book. Anything really, just to have some time that is yours and yours alone. It really does work wonders for the soul. And sanity.

And now, as my ‘me time’ nears its end I’m left thinking…

…HURRY HOME AND BRING MY BABY BACK!

Hang on…yep, that’s the doorbell. Le sigh.

I first hopped on Heledd’sMy Captured Moment‘ wagon a few weeks ago with a piccie of Bebe on the boob. Then I kinda fell off the wagon. I’ve fallen off the blogging wagon completely to be honest, but that’s another story. For now though, whilst browsing through the photos on my phone, I stumbled across this one from a couple of weeks ago, which made me chuckle…

This, my friends, is Bebe having a grand old time with his new favourite toy…reflective foil. Yes, what is essentially a giant piece of tin foil is now the most exciting thing in the toy box, occupying Bebe for many a moment (and lulling him to sleep on the play mat on more than one occasion) and allowing me a few precious minutes to make a cuppa. Utter bliss!

Running in Lavender